Letters to and from my beloved spammer

To my beloved spammer,

I know you’re a Christian and you have good intentions but my spam folder is full. I’m sorry for all the deaths of rich people you have witnessed, for all those millions of dollars that get wasted because of distant heirs and rotten bloodlines. I’m happy with the riches I already have, I don’t need ten percent of immense sums of money.

I started getting these e-mails about 5 years ago and they did not stop coming since then. Lately I thought that I should collect them. Here are some of them, the exhibition of the creativity of a beloved spammer:


Hello,
Let me first apologize for this intrusion into your life even if it’s very important to me.
I’m Mohammed Jaja, Ex-Director of an NGO (Non-Governmental Organization), A graduate of HCS (High Study of Commerce).
I was Cancer for about 22 months, meaning O-Esophageal Cancer has been detected and unfortunately my doctor informed me that i’m in PHASE IV, that is to say that i will not survive it. During the progression of my disease, i sold my renovation construction company auctions in a country where i and my late wife has live for twenty two years.
The reason for my message is that i just lost my only Son, my sole heir in a plane crash a few years back. I made arrangement for my money from the sale of my business, Exactly the sum of Fourteen Million Three Hundred and Thirty Four Thousand Dollars ($USD14.334M).
The reason why i contact you is because i am against the fact that my funds remain the property of the foreign corrupt Government, I prefer it to be used to acts beneficial to the evolution of the world or perform of Humanitarian acts, to help the needy people who suffer from hunger and extreme poverty in Africa and Europe such as Somalia who cross an enormous humanitarian crisis, I believe strongly that by this act my Son and I are being welcomed into the Heavenly Kingdom.
I am well aware of what i propose and i ask for nothing.
Being assured of being in front of a responsible person, please contact me as soon as possible to enable me direct you on what to do to receive my fortune for humanitarian purpose.
Cordially,
Mohammed Jaja


No, I will not write “hello” and I will not write banal words which you likely already heard many times. And each time you thought, that it is game. This time it not “game” or a joke. Also I will tell I am more, that real, and that I now sit and I write to you these lines, words, and I seem to me I will make nonsense. I do not know you, you do not know me. But I have made it, and I will write up to the end this letter, I will send, and it will be not important that. You can will answer, and can are not present. I think, that I will understand about it very soon.
That did I want? Who? Why to you? And still it is a lot of questions at you is. And I will answer them.
I simply search for the friend, the one who could communicate with me, share the life, and certainly listen to me. I wish to learn that that new. To find the one who to see this world as well as I. To see what not to see others. That who appreciates time, to appreciate a life, and to appreciate this world.
I am the girl, me 31 years, live and I work in Russia, in the town called Samara. I listen to music and I read books. I have brown hairs. I like do sports. I will send you my photo.
Also believe I did not choose you from thousand, I simply took and have written to you. Not thinking about what. Also I do not know now I will see your letter with the answer, or not. But it is not important. If it is not interesting to you, you would not answer.
And now it is enough of it, that you had not the big idea about me. Now only you should solve itself, write me the letter or not. But it is not necessary to play, thereby to spend your and my time. If as well as me the friend is necessary to you, or that that is more, you will drop my more than a line. Thereby I can see, that you want this dialogue.
Now, I hope, that you have spent time for reading of my letter knowingly. I will look forward to hearing.
All the best.


Dear Friend,

I know that this message will come to you as a surprise. I am the Secretary OF Foreign Remittance Department, Bank of Africa (B O A) here in Ouagadougou , Burkina- Faso. I hope that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that I am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both families. I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of ($5.6) million to your Account within 14 banking days. This money has been dormant for years in our Bank without claim. I want the bank to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased customer, the owner of the account died along with his supposed next of kin in an air crash since July 31st 2000.

I don’t want the money to go into our Bank treasury as an abandoned fund. So this is the reason why I contacted you so that the bank can release the money to you as the next of kin to the deceased customer. Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete it if you are not interested. Upon receipt of your reply, I will give you full details on how the business Will be executed and also note that you will have 40% of the above mentioned sum if you agree to handle this business with me and I will to your information’s.


Dear friend,

My name is Jameel Malik. I am the Foreign Operations Manager at the Bank of Africa, Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. I am contacting you based on my conviction that you will be capable of championing this business cause.

In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of 18.5 Million Dollars (Eighteen Million Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in an air crash.

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin, business partner or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately I learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him in the air crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and I don’t want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill.

The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after five years, the money will be transferred into the bank treasury account as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkina citizen cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.

I wish to inform you that 40% of this money will be for you as foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account, while the remaining 60% would be for me. Thereafter I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages indicated. Therefore to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as a relation, business partner or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account information and location where in the money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you a text of application. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.

You should contact me immediately you receive this mail.

Trusting to hear from you as soon as possible.

Yours faithfully,
Jameel Malik

 


Dear Friend,

I know that this message will come to you as a surprise. I am Joseph Dinga-Dzondo, the Auditing and Accounting section manager with African Development Bank,Ouagadougou Burkina faso. I Hope that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that I am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both families.

I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of ($39.5) Million Dollars only to your account within 10 or 14 banking days. This money has been dormant for years in our Bank without claim.I want the bank to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased customer an American nationals who is now late Mr.George Small who died along with his supposed next of kin in an air crash since 31st October 1999 on Egypt Air Flight 990.

I don’t want the money to go into government treasury as an abandoned fund. So this is the reason why I am contacting you so that the bank can release the money to you as the next of kin to the deceased customer. Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete it if you are not interested.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will give you full details on how the business will be executed and also note that you will have 40% of the above mentioned sum if you agree to handle this business with me.

I am expecting your urgent response as soon as you receive my message.

Best Regard,
Mr Joseph.


GOD BLESS YOU

Hello Dearest One,

How are you today, Please accept my sincere apologises if my email does not meet your business or personal ethics, I really like to have a good relationship with you, and I have a special reason why I decided to contact you because of the urgency of my situation here.
Please I write not only to introduce myself to you, but also tender a joint investment business proposal for your considerations and acceptance. I know that receipt of my communication shall be a great surprise to you considering the fact that we did not know each other or had any business negotiations before now,

I however, pray your respected self not to allow the above unnatural abnormalities to influence your decision to accept my genuine proposal and intentions which undoubtedly would be of immense mutual benefits to both of us. I pledge to you for urgent and dedicated attention which this issue deserves.

I deemit necessary to introduce myself in detail for you and the need for your assistance to claim and invest my inheritance for me, I am Miss. Zilda Thomas D. Voer Hanson, 26 years old girl from Liberia, the only daughter of Late National Bank of Liberia Governor, Thomas Hanson who died on June 8, 2009 at the Delaware County Memorial Hospital in Upper Darby from a massive stroke. Meanwhile he had earlier undergone a kidney transplant in April 2009 at the university hospital of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.

I am constrained to contact you because of the maltreatment I am receiving from my step mother. She planned to take away all my late father’s treasury and properties from me since the unexpected death of my beloved Father.

Meanwhile I wanted to escape to the Europe but they hide away my international passport and other valuable traveling documents. Luckily they did not discover where I kept my Father’s File which contains important documents. So I decided to run to the refugee camp where I am presently seeking asylum under the United Nations High Commission for the Refugee here in Ouagadougou Republic of Burkina Faso. I wish to contact you personally for a long term business relationship and investment assistance in your country.

My father secretly deposited the sum of US$3,628, 000.00 in one of the prime bank with my name as the next of kin. However, I shall forward you with the necessary information of the deposit on confirmation of your acceptance to assist me for the transfer and investment of the fund in your country. As you will also help me in an investment, and I will like to complete my studies, as I was in the school in Monrovia-Liberia, before the death of my father.

It is my intention to compensate you with 15% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my investment capital. This is the reason why I decided to contact you. Please all communications should be through this email address only for confidential purposes. As soon as I receive your positive response showing your interest I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely.

I am staying at the female hostel. Awaiting your urgent and positive response. Please do keep this only to your self please I advice you not to disclose it to a third party till I come over, once the fund has been transferred into your account. I hope my explanation is very clear but if you need further clarification, then send in your questions.I will try to scan my picture to send in my next mail.

Thanks as I hope to receive from you soon.
Yours Sincerely
Miss Zilda Thomas D. Voer Hanson
Sorry if you received this letter in your spam, Due to recent connection error here in the country.


Beloved One,

I am Mrs María del Carmen Apátiga from Mexico a widow to late Mr Alejandro Apátiga . I am 57 years old, I am a Christian , suffering from long time cancer of the breast, from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that I wouldn’t live more than three months, according to my doctors, and in all indication regards to medical analysis, this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage that no hope for me to be a living person again, and during the period of our marriage we could not produce any child my late husband was very wealthy and after his death, I inherited all his business and wealth. the doctors has advised me that I may not live for more than Four months, so I now decided to divide the part of this wealth, to contribute to the development of the church in America, Africa, Asia and Europe especially create solution to problem of less privileged ones and orphanage homes.

I prayed over it; I am willing to donate the sum of US$2.5 million dollars, to the less privileged.

Lastly, I honestly pray that this money when transferred will be used for the said purpose even though I am late then, because I have come to find out that wealth acquisition without Love is vanity and I made the promise to God that the fund will be use to build his temple. May the grace of God be with you and your family I await urgent reply.

God blesses you.

Mrs María del Carmen Apátiga

One thought on “Letters to and from my beloved spammer

  1. FROM: Raoul Claudette <lora00celine@yahoo.co.jp

    From Mrs,Claudette Raoul

    My Dear,

    I am Mrs,Claudette Raoul from Israel a widow to late Mr Clark Raoul I am 68 years old, I am a Christian , suffering from long time cancer of the breast, from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that I wouldn't live more than three months, acco rding to my doctors, and in all indication regards to medical analysis, this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage that no hope for me to be a living person again,

    My late husband was killed during the France raid against terrorism in Ivory Coast, and during the period of our marriage we could not produce any child my late husband was very wealthy and after his death, I inherited all his business and wealth. the doctors has advised me that I may not live for more

    than Four months, so I now decided to divide the part of this wealth, to contribute to the development of the church in America, Africa, As i a an d Europe especially create solution to problem of less privileged ones and orphanage homes.

    I selected you after visiting the website I prayed over it; I am willing to donate the sum of US$2.5 million dollars, to the less privileged. Please I want you to note the fund is lying in a bank in Ivory Coast and upon my instruction will file in an application for the transfer of the money in your name.

    Lastly, I honestly pray that this money when transferred will be used for the said purpose even though I am late then, because I have come to find out that wealth acquisition without Christ is vanity and I made the promise to God that the fund will be use to build his temple. May the grace of our lord Jesus the love of God and the fellowship of God be with you and your family I await urgent reply.

    God blesses you.

    Mrs,Claudette Raoul

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