The Idiot’s Guide to Singing in the Bathroom

Morning Shower[Have you noticed fact: no matter how much you sleep you always feel sleep deprived.]

Taking a shower can sometimes be a cuss, especially when it is already eleven at night and you are bushed and dead beat and you have to wake up early in the morning and you can only think of the few hours that are left until the alarm clock goes crazy. In such cases, when your shower-power-optimism is low, the question that keeps running through our mind is ‘to shower or not to shower’ and we keep assembling the traditional pros and cons towards a decision concerning the mighty shower. I usually think of the relaxing sleep I always have when I take a shower before going to bed, and of the pleasant smell I have in the morning, and the five-more-minutes-sleep I get to have, and the number of good-day-to-you-too I’ll have to say when I get to school. On the other hand, a morning shower is often more effective because you think that it will do more good to you and the fresh-in-the-morning sensation will last longer during the day and stuff like that. However, when I try to detach myself from the state of fatigue in which I find myself when I come back home most of the times I have the feeling that my idleness is often at work in such situations. When you are tired it is obvious that the prospect of a morning shower seems promising and when you have to wake up in the morning it is again obvious that a late night shower was a better idea. And besides, for me mornings always mouth but bad images: horror-stricken multitudes, forgot-to-do things, unpleasant perspectives for the coming day, low blood sugar and the ever-present and inescapable need for more sleep. This is mostly the reason why I consider the late night shower a better solution because it can bring a double-sided satisfaction and can sometimes be fun.

One: use lavender-scented shampoo or shower gel. This kind of products are usually used for children because the lavender scent induces the brain into a hibernation state and it helps babies go to sleep faster. It is pure discrimination not to use it, if babies can use it than you can use it too. Besides, babies don’t need it that much, they sleep all day long so they are not so much sleep deprived as adults are.

Two: you’ll smell like lavender in the morning. That’s a good thing, women just love the smell of lavender. Manly but innocent at the same time.

Three: use the rough side of your bath sponge. It may feel uncomfortable at the beginning but as you get used to it you’ll start having a pleasant flush on your skin. You’ll also feel an extremely pleasing sensation after you are all tucked up in your bed.

The final extreme solution (and the best pro for late night showers): singing under the shower. This will definitely pump up you shower-power-optimism and it will surely make you forget for an instance the late night fatigue. However, there are some steps that you have to take in order for this to work: first, take off your clothes (you must feel sexy if you want to do this), then start singing your favourite song in front of the mirror as loud as you can, then move on to the shower. Don’t stop singing! Make sure that it is a song your neighbours won’t particularly like. It will offer you double satisfaction: no more fatigue and it will get on your neighbours’ nerves (the good-morning-to-you-neighbour will sound cruel in the morning, but it will be mouth-watering for you).

NB: the water is always colder in the morning while the five-more-minutes-sleep is so sweet.


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